Screenshots
Watch trailer on Steam ↗This Is Why We Don't Play Golf
Hmph. Studios · Published by Hmph. Studios
Positive — 95% positive (20 reviews) · 15 achievements
Last updated 28 Sept 2026
Golfing, but up a bizarre mountain where every 'I got it!' is a lie. A chaotic co-op physics platformer where falling is half the fun... probably.
£4.29
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Price history
Action, Adventure, Indie, Casual · 2025 · More under £5 games
Explore a unique world of physics-based challenges and cooperative mayhem in This Is Why We Don't Play Golf, an indie adventure that turns traditional golfing on its head with Hmph. Studios' creative twist.
About this game
Golfing, but up a bizarre mountain where every 'I got it!' is a lie.
Welcome to This Is Why We Don't Play Golf - the chaotic co-op physics platformer where falling is half the fun... probably. You're hauling a golf ball up a mountain, one swing at a time, and gravity has a personal vendetta against you.
Okay it's simple, you hit your golf ball, or your friend, from platform to hazard to wall to floor to ceiling... every surface is a perfectly calculated opportunity. Play alone and question life choices; play with a friend and question theirs too.
Climb up (hopefully more than down) multiple unique regions with unique hazards
Bring a friend or go alone, but the mountain has room for 2 players to suffer together
Play with a chaos-physics golf ball with a cruel sense of humor
Break the game before it breaks you; the line between bug, mechanic, or creative solution is your call
Hike to the top in 2-4 hours (if you're good) or 8+ hours (if you brought THAT friend)
Warning: Side effects include creative vocabulary expansion.
System Requirements
Will my PC run this? →Minimum
- OS *: Windows 7 64-bit
- Processor: Dual Core 2.4 Ghz
- Memory: 2 GB RAM
- Storage: 500 MB available space
- Additional Notes: Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
Recommended
- Network: Broadband Internet connection
Supported Languages
*languages with full audio support
Latest news
Patch NotesOfficial
Demo 1.0.4 on beta and next fest is going great!
Demo 1.0.4 is on the beta branch!Once again, I will be using the beta branch before making changes public just in case you people find some silly bugs.If you don't know how to start the beta, here is how:Right click the game and go to properties:There go to betas, and then beta participation and switch from none to beta. And you are done! Enjoy the new changes!As for the patch notes, here are the details:Additions:Added time limit on midair grabs, now you gotta go fastAdded a combo system for midair grabs, it doesnt do anything fancy but its a cool sfx (i think) and fun to play around withAdded arrows pointing at the other players when they are offscreenA hidden easter egg is now somewhere in the caves...Changes:Tutorial now includes teleporting to the ballTutorial now also includes using the ball camChanged the lobby's look slightly to avoid some issuesFixes:Fixed some issues when leaving and rejoining gamesFixed some issues with the copy code buttonFixed an issue where you could teleport to the ball while u already were grabbing itI might have forgotten something, I am still not used to writing everything I do so lmk if you find some other changes lol.As for the next fest news we have MORE than DOUBLED wishlists!!Yeah, not much else to add, just big thanks to everyone who tried the demo so far and wishlisted, really appreciated, and let's try to make this into triple the amount of wishlists!Have a fun Next fest and feel free to share some fun demos you found on the comments!Read full article on Community Announcements (KilThrall)Patch NotesOfficial
Demo beta branch 1.0.3
Demo 1.0.3 is on the beta branch!So, to start rolling out some changes I decided to use a beta branch in case anything breaks or goes weird. This update in particular should be safe since it doesn't really have anything that directly impacts gameplay, but I feel like it's a good practice to test stuff out instead of just yoloing it.If you don't know how to start the beta, here is how:Right click the game and go to properties:There go to betas, and then beta participation and switch from none to beta. And you are done! Enjoy the new changes!Additions:Added game logo to the main menuAdded teleporting to the ball if its stationary, that way if it falls way too low you don't have to chase it. (Or if you manage to make it go way too high up without it falling)Added some whoosh sound to the ballAdded a fire trail to the ball when it goes fast that looks objectively cool Changes:Improved directional sounds for the ball, so you can now hear if it's at your left or right betterChanged checkpoint key to H to use T for Teleports (I feel like it makes more sense)Made lowest power a little bit higher. It used to basically not move the ball at all at 10% but send it 5-6 tiles at 20% which was a bit unintuitive.Moved some UI stuff a little bitFixes:Fixed some cropping issues with some buttons on some specific resolutionsFixed some issues with save detection where it would sometimes not save your progress, or save you in the wrong positionFixed some of the issues when trying to join other players. The game still struggles to join a game if you left an online lobby before, so until it's fixed I recommend fully closing the game before creating/joining a new lobby to make sure it works properly. This will obviously be fixed asapNot a huge patch, but hopefully it will improve the overall experience for most people. Let me know what you think!Read full article on Community Announcements (KilThrall)
