Nine Lives Hospital

A chaotic physics co-op for 1–4 clumsy cat doctors. The clinic is yours, the patients are human. Good luck.

Welcome to Nine Lives Hospital — a vet clinic in reverse. Humans keep arriving with diseases that don't exist, and the only staff on duty is you: cats in lab coats, with paws instead of hands and a very loose relationship with gravity. Every patient has one life. You have nine. Try to keep it that way.

Grab, haul, don't drop

Patients are full-body ragdolls, and they won't carry themselves. Drag them through narrow corridors together, squeeze through doors sideways, and try not to leave anyone in the elevator.

Diseases that don't exist

Whistlitis. Broken Heart. A ball of yarn in the stomach. A patient frozen on a Blue Screen. Diagnose them with the X-ray, MRI and ECG — the machines are real, the diseases are absolutely not.

Surgery is a team sport

Cut, transplant, stitch — against the clock. Organs roll under tables, teammates reach over your paws, and the timer doesn't care whose fault it was.

The claw-machine bed

Our pride and joy: a hospital bed crossed with an arcade claw crane. Drive it, hoist patients, deliver them to the OR — or accidentally pick up a colleague. It happens.

Scream at each other. For real.

Built-in proximity voice chat that the hospital itself keeps breaking: walls muffle, surgical masks mumble, elevators cut you off mid-sentence. The best moments happen exactly then.

• The only hospital where the doctors are ragdoll cats and the ambulance is a claw crane

• 29 invented diseases — from Whistlitis to the Blue Screen

• Online co-op for 1–4 — call your friends, or heal alone with dignity (dignity not guaranteed)

• Proximity voice chat with in-world interference — masks, walls and elevators included

• Shifts of about 10 minutes: perfect for one more and then bed

• No fail penalties — the score counts saves, the failures count as comedy

Add Nine Lives Hospital to your wishlist — the humans can't wait. Literally. They have timers.