Prime Monster

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• Patch Notes·3 Sept 2026Official

  Patch 1.4

  We’re back! As our faithful political servants trudge back from their summer holidays, so too do we return to try to please and entertain our masters while preserving some shred of our remaining dignity. Onwards! BEWARE GEEKS BEARING GIFTSThis time we bring you only a small smattering of bug fixes, and yet, AND YET…May there perhaps be a hint at more to come buried within this patch? Who could say? Well, we could, certainly. But we won’t.MAKING A DECENT LIST OF ITCast your wandering eye downwards and you’ll see the full list of changes. On the downside, it’s not as big as previous lists. On the upside, it’s considerably faster to read! But if you crave more words, then be careful what you wish for because we’ve got ALL the words...A WIKI SITUATION...Or at least a lot of the words that are in the game, anyway. All lovingly presented in an actual, factual Wiki!PRIME MONSTER WIKI It’s essentially your own book of Urskin Flay, but covering every card, character, staff and tactic. And, unlike the real book, nobody died in its construction. Result! IS THAT IT? Well, I mean…It is SOME fixes, and a Wiki…(I suddenly feel like I’m on shifting sands…) And we are hinting at some future things, so that’s good…Right? WRAP IT UP Alright! We’ll stop with the teasing before this whole post unravels. Thanks for reading - and if you have any thoughts or theories to share, then do as the most enlightened citizens do and shout them into the internet! Our Steam forums and Discord await your most hare-brained takes.And if you’re looking for something else to play (perish the thought), right now The Sexy Brutale is a whopping 70% off! If we reduce the price again later by 30%, then my understanding is that the game will cost nothing. Sounds crazy to me! But I’ve been told that I’m never to touch anything price-related, for some reason.New Content & FeaturesA new wiki is now available. Initial content, including art assets and descriptions, has been added for characters, tactics, cards, ite...
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• Patch Notes·2 Jul 2026Official

  Patch 1.3

  Yes, that’s right - a new patch has received Royal Assent and can now be released to you fine citizens. But what’s it all about?OPENING STATEMENTSLet’s start with what we’ve done to…the start. As of now, your very first Red Box decision allows you to make a Tactic choice - meaning you can start “expressing” yourself as Leader of the Opposition right away! Which will surely be a treat for your first opponent.A SNEAKY PREVIEW…OF UPGRADES“It’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re going to” - a trite cliché loved by politicians across the world. But it CAN be true of Tactics (could this link be any more tenuous?) Sometimes you want to know what a Tactic WILL be when it reaches its full potential, rather than what it is in its dreary, current form. To that end, you can now right-click on any Tactic in order to preview what it will be in its upgraded form. To demonstrate the power of this new functionality, you can actually right-click on this very Steam post in order to see a preview of what will be contained in the NEXT patch*. *This is categorically untrue BATTING OFF CRITICISM Everyone knows there is no wild animal more loved and appreciated than the humble, leathery, goggle-eyed, disgusting bat.But truth be told, we felt like we were leaving bats hanging. Those of you who are big supporters of Vampiric Victory were simply not being given adequate opportunities to take flight.So just for you, we've added a brace of bat-based barbs in the form of two new tactics for Sucksworth!But bat’s not all…A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENTNo, it’s not that I have been fired and replaced with someone better at doing Steam posts. But it IS related to how to humanely deal with difficult underlings. Rotilda has decided that it is not enough to just cram Smelling Salts up the nostrils of her Zombie MPs (the ones that still have them, that is). As useful as they may be on occasion, they were not the best Item she could start with. So now every time you start a run with Rotilda she will have in...
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• Patch Notes·29 May 2026Official

  Patch 1.2

  As the release month draws to a close, we have another patch for you. And this one contains some much-requested features...FAST MODE Sometimes politicians just don't know when to shut up. We get it.From now on, you can open the Settings at any time and toggle Fast Mode on. This will speed up animations, remove pauses and reduce delays all across the game.Now your career can really crash and burn - at speed! CANCELLING ACTIONSJust like any good politician, you wanted to be able to commit to something and then gracelessly reverse your decision. Again, very reasonable.So now you can! After playing a card or using a Tactic, if it results in a choice of some kind you will be able to back out at any time by clicking on the "X" in the top-right corner.So get out there and start making some screeching U-turns!FEEDBACK FORMYou've got things to say and (as is the theme of this post) you want to say them FAST.Well, we've got a solution for you. If you open the Pause menu or press F2 at any point, you'll see a new button for our Feedback Form. Simply open that up, hammer down your opinions violently into your keyboard, and then click the button to fling it in our big, stupid faces.It's cathartic AND constructive!And finally (sort of)…Where there has been harmony, we are happy to bring -DISCORDHaving studied MPs intensely, we know there is nothing they enjoy more than hearing the opinions of their constituents. So we decided that we too must provide a better way for you to give voice to your views. We ask only that you try and limit the personal abuse to within acceptable parameters. Think of us as politicians if that helps. Nobody would ever dream of being rude to them! You can join here: https://discord.gg/tYFcwzXD9y AND MORE… But that's not all - there are also tonnes more balance changes and bug fixes, all listed below in a large and very interesting wall of text.THE END OF THIS POST So there we have it. We suspect the most exciting part of this will be Fast Mode, but let us...
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• Patch Notes·8 May 2026Official

  Patch 1.1 is here

  Prime Monster has been out for 4 days, and an awful lot of very bad ideas have become law in the Fractured Kingdom. And all thanks to you! You've beaten, killed and cajoled your MPs (sometimes in that order) and done even worse to your opponents. Truly an inspiration to politicians everywhere.While watching these democratic horrors take place, we have been busy addressing a whole variety of issues - bugs, balancing, complaints, desires, and other general fixes. The full list of changes is at the bottom of this post.We wanted to let you know here that we appreciate all the reviews and the comments in the forums and have read every word.We intend to support the game with patches like the one we are releasing today - and more. Please do continue to let us know your thoughts, both here and via support@cavalier-gs.co.uk.And finally - thank you for playing the game. Whether you're already an Elder Statesmonster or still at the start of your political journey, we hope you've enjoyed inflicting your horrible will on the long-suffering citizens of the FK thus far.BalanceOfficeUpdated the "Catastrophic Data Leak" decision to be affected by the Private Skeletary staff member.Chopper BadstoneModified "The Big Mo" tactic to prevent the Unity gain getting doubled if triggered while Harness Anger is active.Updated "Mob Mentality" tactic to trigger after a Harness Anger drain.Updated "Super Tribal" tactic to prevent it from reducing the number of Defender stacks on front bench dice.Adjusted "Pipe Down" tactic to charge Harness Anger from 2 to 4 (upgrade: 3 to 6).Adjusted "Consult Plotters" tactic to reduce its PC Cost from 2 to 1 (upgrade: 1 to 0).Adjusted "Draw Power" tactic to increase its damage from 3 to 4 per Frenzied MP.Adjusted "Insult Their Kind" tactic to increase its damage from 8 to 10.Adjusted "Carrying The Room" tactic to increase its damage from 9 to 12 (upgrade: 15 to 17).Adjusted "Hype Orc" tactic to gain 1 additional Unity to the dice roll result.Viscount Suckswort...
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• Announcements·4 May 2026Official

  Prime Monster is out now!

  Order, order! Settle down…Yes, the headline is accurate. The votes have been counted. The result is in…YOU have been duly elected as the next Leader of the Opposition in the Fractured Kingdom.But do you have what it takes to become Prime Monster?Speed is vital in any campaign - so if you run for office in the next two weeks you’ll enjoy a 15% launch discount!It’s time for change* in the Fractured Kingdom. It’s time for YOU.*Quality of change not guaranteed.
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