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About the Game

h8machine is a cardgame set in a dystopian future in which Artificial Intelligence 🤖🤖🤖 has completely overtaken the online world 🌐🌐🌐 and the worst part is - it learned to behave just like us 💩💩💩...



but AI isn't just a flavor here! an in-game neural network allows you to customize and randomize 2D art in real time! with this TECHNOLOGY, you can fully immerse yourself in the world of anime profile pics posting complete garbage. it's just like real life social media!


no one uses realtime-with-pause in cardgames, probably for some good reason. but screw it, I like RTWP so I just put it in!

the flow of time is your main resource! will you get lost in the hectic chaos of ticking timers, or will you optimize every fraction of a second at your disposal? remember: the active pause system allows you to play any card you want while the time stops. use it to make your decisions and execute powerful combos!



are you tired of collecting cards one by one and having to remove the crap ones from your deck as a deckbuilder game goes on? in h8machine, you grab packets of cards with their own "personalities" instead, internet stereotypes and whatnot. each of these personalities contributes 1/3 of your deck, and you can mix&match them to easily form decks with a pre-constructed feel

Latest news

• Announcements·27 Sept 2022Official

  Do You Even Lift?

  Update! Cards #fitness hashtag with 2 new personalities for now: DYEL and roidRage. More to come! #fitness spawns a pinned post when you first play a card that increases your bench: {STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/40696559/5c0f2f0c03a8d5801f329099f61788b926cce09a.png This lets you scale your power over time in a way that the opponent can't remove. {STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/40696559/5620021ebbec0cab56b4ca6056ad4afaf45e5525.png #hashtag Drop Rate Hashtag personalities will now get HUGE boost in probability as rewards when a personality with a hashtag is already in your deck.
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• Announcements·15 Sept 2022Official

  Non Fungible Fruit

  Took a break recently, so this is a fairly lazy update. Even the jokes are lazy! We go for the lowest hanging fruit of internet jokes, the infamous monke jpeg peddlers. New personalities {STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/40696559/0c626da7850d79ee7cb32f97877d69c78f213c43.png ponzaSchemer exists because of a pun. I mean, that's really it. But to make the pun actually work, resource removal (i.e., all "remove 🤖" posts) gets a buff in this update to become actually usable. Meanwhile, a small pyramid scheme can reward building a mono 🤔 deck with INFINITE emoji! {STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/40696559/22a6b920029f6873b9e521a5698d8a9bc8b00290.png jpegTaffer is based around cloning stuff, giving 🤣 the option to easily turn all remaining emoji into picture posts (meaningless as they are). Also, "drawing a copy" means the new card retains the characteristics of a targeted post in play (including those numbers that increase WHENEVER or EVERY SECOND), but resets the duration. 🤖 removal Enemy 🤖 meter can go into negative numbers as a result of your cards' effects! This gives 🤔 a better defensive mechanic fitting for the color theme, making just delaying the enemy actions a more playable strat.
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• Announcements·30 Aug 2022Official

  Robo Girl Supremacy

  This week's update: Cards Two new personalities found their way into the game - a 😍 robosexual and a 😡 robohater {STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/40696559/bc10779b51af4eea032b258b84c1afdf58c2da31.png Robosexual, in tune with its flavor, replaces the need for a real egirl in your deck and thirsts for your opponent. Robohater has a funky card that can CANCEL multiple posts and continues the theme of rewards for low life. Challenge mode Grindset challenge goes up to lvl 4 now, with lvl 2 and 3 granting achievements. (4 might end up geting pushed to a higher level in next update. is hard.) The levels are unlocked by completing the previous level with ANY modifiers, easy mode allowed. But achievements are only granted on completion without easy mode. Buffs I buffed last week's HOT TAKES to be more usable since they ended up being a bit too clunky. Also, pinned posts with drawbacks had their drawbacks reduced so taking a route through a pin isn't as much of a gamble. Some of the drawbacks could pretty much end a run for no reason if you got to choose from two pins that had drawbacks and didn't synergize with your deck. Didn't really make sense.
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• Announcements·23 Aug 2022Official

  Nice Opinion, Which Youtuber Did You Get It From?

  Weekly content! {STEAM_CLAN_IMAGE}/40696559/a05fc4c464cdc7cac4a1881ade47833efaa66618.jpg New personalities "Transform a post" mechanic was introduced for an enemy in the last small update, and it's a fun one with a lot of potential depth. Now, YOU get to transform posts! 🤔 influencee - this propagator of HOT TAKES will turn your posts into "1 downvote every second". You can transform posts that have drawbacks on timeout, make use of the leftover duration on your typical fire-and-forget posts and since the signature post turns your newest post every second, there is a lot of interesting sequencing. 😭 thoughtful - this very considerate person transforms posts into THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS (5 downvotes on timeout), and unlike influencee can also transform the enemy posts. One funny funny way to use this is to speed up your enemy posts through 🤖 gaining drawbacks, and then out of nowhere remind the enemy to NEVAR 4GET, thus transforming drawbacks into damages. Easy mode INSERT COIN - an easy mode that lets you have a limited number of continues instead of playing pure permadeath. Rule changes??? Might not affect your gameplay much if you weren't looking too hard into how the game works, but the order of actions triggering every second has changed to let effects go off before the enemy gets to do anything. The current order is: Enemy gains 🤖 EVERY SECOND effects happen Enemy posts if able Posts time out The old order had every second effects AFTER the enemy post! This change is done to prevent weird situations with EVERY SECOND 🤖 gains/losses. When they triggered after the enemy post, it was just bizarre. (Eg. 🤖 went to 25/20 regularly, or your post seemed like it doesn't remove 🤖, because the enemy gained 🤖, played the card, went to 0 and there was nothing left to remove.)
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• Patch Notes·18 Aug 2022Official

  Some Updates

  This minor update contains some bugfixes, and new stuff targeted at both ends of the player skill spectrum: For newbs A hint system was introduced to help you figure out enemies. Many enemies in this game, especially early on, have puzzle-like solutions that completely disarm them. Ofc the power of your deck still matters, and RNG can still mess you up, but if figuring out the correct counterplay by yourself wasn't what you play cardgames for, use the hints. For pros 3 new achievements for completionists, including the beginning of a new, ascension-style scaling challenge. Only one level for now, but it's very much the start of a srs bsns difficulty grind, as opposed to more funky modes. Also there is now an enemy powered by food analogies. I don't know how that wasn't in the base game.
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